A Boy Of Many Colors.

I want to tell you a story, those who read this. A story about a boy who opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world that I'm not special enough to see.

His name is Logan.

Logan has Autism.

I've posted about him before, and his mom (Kristy). Their whole family is amazing, and have welcomed me into it with open arms and Bud Lights open.

Logan's journey hasn't been the easiest, nor has it been the hardest. And though it may be easy for you to say "Oh, gosh. Autism? I don't know how I could handle my kid going through that.", I can guarantee it's not a death sentence, it's not a national disaster. Spend a day with this kid and he will open your eyes quick.

You see, Logan gets to see the world completely different. A lot of us see it through jaded eyes, second guessing everything everyone does, doubting our every step. This boy? He gets to live. Really LIVE. He gets to see the world in all its glory. He gets to believe in magic. He gets to go out in the world and own it. In some ways, I'm jealous that he gets to be this way. I wish that we could all see it the way he does.

Logan has the greatest family he could ever ask for. And he deals with them on a daily basis, not the other way around. (Truth, the family's kind of crazy, which is why I mesh with them so well.) He's blessed so much more than any of us could even wish to be, and yet the world side steps around him because, what, he has Autism? The world is missing out. Autism IS NOT a disease. It's NOT a curse. An estimated 1 in 88 kids born have Autism. And the only thing holding them back is YOU. The "normals", whatever that means. With your big ignorance-filled hammer, you smack a label down on these kids, these tiny humans, these AMAZING children, and refuse to understand.

And that's why I'm doing the St. Louis 2013 Color Run.

http://thecolorrun.com/stlouis/

This year, they're pairing with Autism Speaks, a charity to promote Autism awareness, something the world NEEDS. Ignorance isn't acceptable. Knowledge is. Get yourself educated.

I'm blessed to have a husband who is beyond supportive of this. Not only did he put in for vacation time the weekend of, he's choosing to do it with me. This guy has terrible knees, and he's STILL WANTING to do the whole 5K. Not even for me. For Logan.

And while we'll have enough money to cover registration, I'm not sure that we will have the money for the gas to get there and back, not to mention food.

Now, I'm sure when it comes down to it, we'll find a way to make it work. This whole thing literally happened in a matter of seconds for me, and started with a random "OHAI! Let's go look at the info for maybe next year!" on a whim. This is where we need the help.

I'm not asking for much. Prayers, positive thoughts, those are excellent. But what we could really use is donations. If 100 people just donated $1, we'd have enough money for gas. No joke.

I'm not asking you to donate. I'm not begging you to donate. But if in your heart you feel that you should/could/would help, we would greatly appreciate it. Something in the universe pulled me to this. I'm meant to do this. I know it.

Help us help Autism. Help us fight the ignorance. Help us to get people to SEE.

Crafting for Christmas

Kyle's family does a Secret Santa every year for Christmas. And it's a lot of fun.

Except that I haven't been in the family for..2? 3 years? I don't know them well enough to really shop for them, and Kyle's just not good at it. I don't know why. He has some good ideas sometimes but..pretty much, it's up to me.

So when his cousin's boyfriend showed up at the Thanksgiving shindig with a bearded beanie, I had an idea.

I've been wanting to try making a dead fish hat for..a long time. Ever since I found the pattern a good 4 years ago. I just never had the perfect time to make it.

The time is NOW.

I honestly don't want to give it up.

If anything, it's a great conversation piece, yes?

His girlfriend says he'll love it, so I'm going off her word.

But if he doesn't love it, I'll gladly take it back and wear it.

SAHM Hustler.

I love making myself sound "gangsta".

Mostly because when I do it, all I can picture is the Korean mom from The Hot Chick that's just trying to meet them "hafwai". I don't have the thick Korean accent, but my mom does. That movie is just so awesome. I have a deep love for Rob Schneider.

The other part to that is I really, REALLY wish I was still young and "cool" and "hip". Because I'm old now. I can't get away with saying things like "Erryday I'm shufflin'" and look normal. That makes me sad. I miss my youth.

Anywho.

Take this picture into your mind.
This family ranges from 4-6 people in a household. 2-4 of those people are children ages 5, 5, (almost) 4, and (almost) 2. There are clothes that need to be bought, food that needs to be bought, bills that need to be paid, etc. There's so much money that goes into it. SO MUCH. The husband is the only one that works. The job is one that pays, but no where near the amount that is necessary to really live. Cuts need to be made.

It's tough when you start off as a young family, in an economy that's been taking downfall after downfall, but you do your best. Not for you, for your kids.

I know a lot of people, whether young or old, are having money issues. We make a lot of compromises in things, and that includes me making things. So I'm going to give you an idea of things we do.

1. Hand-me-down clothes. We have 4 girls and one boy, so the girls get a lot of hand-me-downs. I keep the clothes in good condition. Also, I keep an eye out on Craigslist, Freecycle, and Facebook groups, as well as checking out Goodwill and The Salvation Army. Sometimes you can find some GREAT stuff for better prices. The oldest and youngest do get more new clothes than the middle kids, but the middle kids get new stuff, too. I also sell the clothes that no one else will be able to use for a few bucks here and there to get them new clothes.

2. I make our dinners. All of them. From scratch. We rarely eat out, and while that kind of sucks for the husband and myself, it works for all of us. I'm able to incorporate the kids in learning measurements and help aid their counting when they help me, and I'm also able to introduce things with nutritional value a lot easier than if we were to go out. Sometimes it's pretty tough to come up with meals that works for everyone, but we use the "you get what you get" rule in this house. It works for us.

3. Any repairs on the house that can be done ourselves, we do ourselves. We also get furniture at cheap prices and fix it up ourselves to serve fully functional. Most of the stuff in our home was bought used. We can have new stuff once the kids are older and money's better, but at the end of the day it's all material.

4. For entertainment, I use a lot of crafts for the kids or get them outside playing. We go to the park or nature conservation center. We opt for free sources of entertainment.

5. I make my coffee at home. This makes the most sense because, well, I'm the only one in the house that drinks it.

6. I take my own photos of the kids. With our income taxes, we splurged to get me a good camera while weighing the pros and cons. We found that me taking the photos vs. having a professional photographer take them would be a lot cheaper. And so far, it's worked for us. I get exactly what I want as far as the photos go, plus I get them doing the things I love seeing them do. It doesn't matter if it's a bad day, because I can wait. It's unscheduled and random. I love it.

7. "Date" nights happen at home. We have a lot of DVDs (I'm talking 300+) that came from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart. We also have Netflix instant streaming. Netflix is rather unimportant, so we could do without it, but the husband and I will stay in and watch a movie with popcorn. This cuts back on the money we'd spend at a movie theater ($20+ for ONE movie? Get outta here.) and dinner, not to mention gas in the SUV.

8. For home decor, I make everything. I wish I was kidding, but I'm really not. We don't have a lot of things right now, but it's a work in progress. Occasionally, I'll get something on clearance, but typically I do it al.

9. CLEARANCE CLEARANCE CLEARANCE. I can't stress that enough. Look for major sales on anything and everything. There's a good chance you'll find something you need. That's a GREAT place to get party supplies.

10. I make our laundry soap. Trust me, this saves a bundle. I also use an HE washer and it's safe. The only difference between regular laundry detergent and HE detergent is the amount of suds - no lie.

I'm sure there's more things that I do. I'll add them as I think of them.

I didn't know her.

My father grew up in Washington, in a small town called Neilton. I've been there, there isn't too much.

He was raised by his mother alone. His father was killed when he was quite young.
They lived in a small blue house that my grandfather built himself.
When he was of age, he enlisted in the United States Army, which sent him to Seoul, South Korea. There, he met my mother.
At the age of 19, he wrote my grandmother, asking her permission for marriage. At that time, he wasn't old enough. If memory serves me right, he had to be 21.
My grandmother refused. My father waited and then married my mother when he could. They stayed in Korea for years after that. That is where my brother and sister were born.
They sent my grandmother photos of her grandchildren, as she was the only grandparent alive. My mother's parents, both of them, passed when she was just 13. She was the second oldest out of 6 kids. Most of the responsibility fell on her shoulders. Infact, I still have an aunt and uncle that we don't know about, because they had to be given up for adoption due to the circumstances. My mother still thinks about them a lot.
When they came back to the states, my grandmother had a wedding for my mom and dad. The explanation being "she didn't trust the Korean wedding". I'm unsure of how true this is, as I'm just being told stories.
She helped my parents get on their feet. My parents and siblings, after moving quite a bit, settled in Pennsylvania. My grandmother stayed in Washington, in the home her husband had built for them.
While in Pennsylvania, I came along somewhere. For Christmases and birthdays I received a box of gifts from my grandmother. When I learned to read and write, my grandmother exchanged handwritten letters with me, though I doubt mine made any grammatical sense and I had a hard time reading her cursive penmanship. We would occasionally call eachother, just to check in. This is the extent of our relationship. I had only seen photos of her. She might as well have been a stranger to me.
When I was..about 13..my brother and sister had moved. My brother was in the Marines. My sister had married and had her first son. My father got a job transfer and moved us to Missouri. The move was at the beginning of summer, and I knew no one. It was hard, and I enjoyed every visit from family members we had.
Somewhere during that time, my grandmother boarded a plane and visited us for two weeks. This was the first time I met her. She waited until everyone else had left before she began walking slowly off the plane.
While she was with us, we went to Branson. She bought me a deck of Elvis playing cards. One morning, at our house, she calmly walked upstairs to let us know that there was a lizard in her room and asked if one of us could please take care of it, which my dad promptly did. She helped my mom make sure she got the potato salad just right. She attempted to teach me to crochet with all the patience in the world. She was a kind woman, with a big heart, though my dad will argue that she was a very strict parent. I suppose you have to be that way, though, when raising 3 children on your own with little money to stretch.
After that, our relationship continued with phone calls, letters, and the occasional gifts. I hadn't seen her since.
Years passed. I married and had my first child, Riah. When Riah was 8 months old, I got the phone call from my sister. My grandmother wasn't doing well and my mom and dad were driving to Washington to be with her. These would be her last days.
She passed away in a hospital bed with my father by her side. She did not get to meet any of her great-grandchildren.
My (at the time) husband, daughter, and I boarded a plane and made the flight to Washington. It was winter, cold and snowy, and I had to say goodbye to a woman I only heard stories about. But nothing about it was tense or sad.
Her funeral was a joyous occasion full of laughter and some tears, but mostly stories. This is where I learned about who my grandmother was and what a pain my father was.
This is where I learned just how much like my grandmother I am.

My father, mother, sister, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, (ex)husband, Riah, and I drove to the little blue house she still lived in. It was rundown greatly and needed work, but that didn't matter anymore. The land had been bought and we were cleaning the house out so it could be bulldozed down. The house was a mess, you could say. My grandmother kept everything. She had crochet projects in the works, old letters to Santa from my father, and books covering the walls of her bedroom. We found my grandfather's dogtags from when he served. We found so many things that my father thought were lost forever. She kept it all.
Among the things, we found this.

This is a teaset that was sent to her by my mother and father while they were in Korea. It's 30-40+ years old. It was boxed in the original, tattered box, wrapped in Korean newspaper. It was never taken out despite the blue color, which was my grandmother's favorite color, but she kept it all the same. It's one of the few things I have left from my grandmother's house.

I didn't know my grandmother. But I loved her.
Don't take the relationship you have with your family for granted. You don't know if that day will be the last you have.

That doesn't make you a mommy...

I have a problem with the world these days. A big one. A few, actually. But one in particular really hits home.

What makes a mommy a mommy.

I'm a firm believer in there being a difference in being a mommy and being a mother. Just like there's a difference between being a daddy and being a father. HUGE difference. I'm taking, the size of moon craters.

Kidlet throwback.